Well, it had to happen eventually. Here's to my first night actually sleeping in my car. It's cold. And I hope I'm not cold. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going to park, but I am going to find some residential place to sleep and pray the cops don't come knocking on my window or something worse.
In a way, it's a relief. I've been with people for so long and having to work around their schedules and lifestyles. But now I get to work on my own schedule and not worry about being rude or waking someone unintentionally or feeling weird about my own weird habits. So we'll see how this goes. I just worry about being cold.
At the same time, it makes me sad because I am pampered...and I wonder what I'll do if I wake up in the middle of the night having to pee. (This is likely to happen because I pee a lot! LOL)
At the very least, living out of my car teaches me there is no moment but now, and I am "here". Where ever "here" is.
If I worry about things like having to pee in the middle of the night or where to park, etc., I just get stressed. And it doesn't seem productive to be that way until I need to.
Let it flow and let it go.
I think I'm going to have to bring back, "Patience and grace" and this time add humour.
I can do this. It is worth it.
Please don't feel sorry for me. It's my choice. If I was anyone else, I'd just get a full time job and ignore my dreams and be miserable. But I'm not everyone else. So I ask my friends to just help me along the way when they can and support me in following my dreams. :)
Monday, August 15, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Huh...
So, I had the recent revelation that I will be turning 29 at the end of this month. It’s slightly amazing to me what twists and turns and journeys this life has brought me. Ever seeking contentment, I find it fascinating that, when I was in my teens, I couldn’t wait to turn 30 because it seemed like that would be the age where I was settled and content and life would be “perfect”. (Not perfect, but less crazy or something. Do you know what I mean?)
Instead, I’m a year and a bit away from 30, and I’m living out of my car to pursue my passion. I’m single, for all intents and purposes, and I feel like I was more settled when I was a teenager. At the very least, I feel like I had a better grasp on life than I do now. It’s like all the maturity and wisdom I had when I was a teen decided to take a vacation. LOL
I’m not complaining at all because the journey has been wonderous and interesting and I’ve learned a lot. But it’s so weird that what I thought was a magical age is almost upon me, and it doesn’t seem like I’m near settled at all.
Do any of you feel that way? Or have you felt that way about your age or anything in general?
Instead, I’m a year and a bit away from 30, and I’m living out of my car to pursue my passion. I’m single, for all intents and purposes, and I feel like I was more settled when I was a teenager. At the very least, I feel like I had a better grasp on life than I do now. It’s like all the maturity and wisdom I had when I was a teen decided to take a vacation. LOL
I’m not complaining at all because the journey has been wonderous and interesting and I’ve learned a lot. But it’s so weird that what I thought was a magical age is almost upon me, and it doesn’t seem like I’m near settled at all.
Do any of you feel that way? Or have you felt that way about your age or anything in general?
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