Somehow I'll make it happen. I have to. This is my life blood and my passion. Of course, I am talking about acting.
I just received my informational welcome letter and the upcoming season from the Pacific Conservatory of the Performing Arts. I am stoked. The season is going to be amazing. A bunch of really great works of art and a world premiere of a new musical! I'll post the season as soon as I know it can be public. (Don't want to go pissing anyone off before I even get there! lol)
In fact, it is now 5:42am, and I have yet to go to bed. I became so obsessive and excited after I read the letter that I texted a bunch of people, talked to a good friend about it, and ordered all of the books I needed (plus some "suggested reading") right up until about now. I also did some budgeting. lol
The budgeting, however, made me anxious because I am afraid I won't have enough money to not have a job while I am at the Conservatory. In fact, I *can't* have a job while at Conservatory. It says so in the handbook. They will allow it if you have extenuating financial circumstances and you talk to the Director of the program about it. But that is all.
And I'm pretty sure the Director of the program would not be ok with my current profession. And I'm not even sure I'd have enough time for it anyway.
I am putting my faith in God that the money will come from somewhere, so I am not worried about it (ok, I'm a little worried about it), but it still makes me anxious. I suppose if I had complete faith, I wouldn't even be anxious, but I'm working on that. I think life is half fate/the hand of God and half what you put into it. Or maybe more.
Either way, I'm going to go to the Conservatory. And I'm going to spend the next 2 years living out of my car if I have to.
I am hoping some friends will gather money for me or I can find a benefactor of some sort. Because it's not like I'm not working hard. I am...it's just that I have so many bills and medical things to take care of, it's hard to *just* save up for one thing.
And loans are not an option.
Oh yes, and the discipline thing. Well, I'm going to have to start running/working out again on a regular basis. They want you to be fit as a fiddle and in good condition *before* you arrive at the conservatory. And I want to be too. I also want to have a good number of plays and school books and the two suggested books read before I go. I need to make myself a schedule and follow it. It needs to be done.
Let the juggling begin.
