Eventually...

Well, it had to happen eventually. Here's to my first night actually sleeping in my car. It's cold. And I hope I'm not cold. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going to park, but I am going to find some residential place to sleep and pray the cops don't come knocking on my window or something worse.

In a way, it's a relief. I've been with people for so long and having to work around their schedules and lifestyles. But now I get to work on my own schedule and not worry about being rude or waking someone unintentionally or feeling weird about my own weird habits. So we'll see how this goes. I just worry about being cold.

At the same time, it makes me sad because I am pampered...and I wonder what I'll do if I wake up in the middle of the night having to pee. (This is likely to happen because I pee a lot! LOL)

At the very least, living out of my car teaches me there is no moment but now, and I am "here". Where ever "here" is.

If I worry about things like having to pee in the middle of the night or where to park, etc., I just get stressed. And it doesn't seem productive to be that way until I need to.

Let it flow and let it go.

I think I'm going to have to bring back, "Patience and grace" and this time add humour.

I can do this. It is worth it.

Please don't feel sorry for me. It's my choice. If I was anyone else, I'd just get a full time job and ignore my dreams and be miserable. But I'm not everyone else. So I ask my friends to just help me along the way when they can and support me in following my dreams. :)